Humor
Judging Antlers
I’ve always been a lousy judge of antlers. My gag is that I’ve got three settings on my internal antler radar: 1) Doe (no antler) 2) Buck (visible antler) 3) Quint, I think we’re going to need a bigger boat. Up until a few years ago it was inconceivable to me that I’d be putting a tape measure to antlers. I did. I was disappointed. I stopped. Still everyone keeps asking me “Whatcha think he’ll score???” There probably isn’t a better way to quantify antlers, but still it is kind of . . . well. . . Nobody asks about … More . . .
MYSPACE censors my hunting pics!!!
Earlier today, I posted some pictures on my MYSPACE account, showing Angus and Mooseboy’s latest trophies. Here is my MYSPACE entry Later in the day, I got this: __________________________________________________ We had to remove an image (or images) from your account because they violated our Terms of Use. Our site is for people as young as 13, so we can’t have certain kinds of pics (nude/sexually explicit, violence, material protected by copyright). Find out more about content we don’t allow at http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=misc.terms. If you continue to violate our Terms, we may be forced to remove your account. If you find an … More . . .
Shamanic Gum Pt II
From the 24hourcampfire.com Shamanic Gum PT II “Funny,” said the fellow, with the goat. “I’ve never seen a goat spit anything out.” “Is there a problem?” asked the shaman. As he turned to see what was going on, several wads of gum came out of campers mouths and flew into the fire. “Problem?” said the fellow. “No, not a problem. I just think it’s funny that my goat just spit up his gum.” “He doesn’t hunt deer, does he?” asked the shaman. “No,” said the fellow. “He just comes along for the company.” “But you like the gum.” said the … More . . .
Adoring fan responds to UV-Killer
I’d mentioned my exchange with Dan at Atsko re: the UV-Killer thing on a few of the forums where I correspond. Grogel Deluxe on the 24HourCampfire had this to say: Shaman, I believe UV killers have been used by sucsesful deer hunters since the 20s. Im not the kind to call a man out without proof. So I present you with this. And you can tell Dan I like snow seal for my choppers. –Grogel Deluxe. So do I Grogel! I’m a faithful SnowSeal user since 1976. This post has already been read 1646 times!Views: 3 Related posts: More on … More . . .
Outrunning the Deer
You are not going to believe this. I’m 6’4″ and at the time I was over 250 lbs. I was always the biggest kid in school, and the one they always laughed at in gym. I always came in last in the 50 yard dash. However, once I actually out ran a deer. In 1996, I took off the opening day of Ohio Modern Weapons season to go hunting. I had a new Mossberg 500 with a rifled slug barrel, and Bushnell Banner 1.5-4.5 scope. I was putting Brenneke 2 3/4″ slugs into the same hole at 50 yards. I … More . . .
How Do You Protect Your Stand From Theft?
I used to use log chain and a 1/2″ lock to lock up my climbing stand. It was noisy as all get-out, but it would have been easier to saw the stand as cut the chain. Nobody ever stole my stand– they went to the next guy. The fact of the matter is, if you are in a safe area, nothing is going to happen to it. If it isn’t, the perps have all the time in the world to figure out a way to steal it. I go for relatively cheap ladder stands now. Nobody steals them, because they’re … More . . .
Head Shots — Shaman’s Statement of Self-Definition
I found this tucked away today in a discussion of head shots pro and con from the 24HourCampfire.com . To be exact: #205865 – 11/10/03 10:03 AM I had an opportunity this weekend to seriously consider the issue of head shots: bagged two deer in two days. Both presented broadside shots at 100 yards or under. Both got it in the chest. Both got the top of their hearts shot out, and at least one lung. Both died within 5 seconds. Did I have a choice? Yes. Did I stop to consider shooting anywhere else? No. Why? Why would I … More . . .
The shaman Invents the Future of Deer Hunting
It was Nosmo King, the shaman’s friend, who found him. The shaman had been missing for days. However, a package had arrived at deer camp, and promptly disappeared. It had been addressed to SHAMANIC ENTERPRISES. Everyone figured the shaman was up to something. “There y’are.” said Nosmo. “Whatcha been up to buddy?” “Oh,” said the shaman. “Hello, Nosmo. Nothing really. I’ve just been . . . INVENTING MY FUTURE!!! That’s all.” With that, the shaman held up a blinding piece of day-glow cloth. “What is that?” said Nosmo, holding his hand up to shield his eyes. “It’s my ticket to … More . . .
Shamanic Gum
From the 24hourcampfire.com Shamanic Gum The peace of the early morning Campfire was suddenly destroyed as the shaman came roaring in. “Everybody!” he exclaimed. “I’ve found it.” “It wasn’t me!” said another. “I made it to the bushes last night. Honest!” “I’ve got the answer!” said the shaman. “The answer to what?” asked a camper. “To what?” “To how I’m going to make money now that I’ve been ditched by the foundry! I’ve got an invention.” “What kind of invention?” “It solves a problem inherent to deer hunting.” said the shaman. “I’ve always wondered how guys could spend all this … More . . .
Losing Stuff — Requiem for a Hat Pt II
From the Heirloom Turkey Call Forum Re: Losing Stuff — Requiem for a Hat Postby Brian on Sat May 10, 2008 1:29 pm Just a quik update in Bill’s losses. His call has been replaced or will be shortly. As soon as he gets his mail in the next day or so. AND they have told me that the forgetfullness will come and go, I just can’t rememebr where it goes to or I’d send it back myself….LOL Brian Warner Heirloom Turkey Calls http://www.heirloomturkeycalls.com Haughton, Louisiana 318-949-9008 Brian __________________________________________________ Re: Losing Stuff — Requiem for a Hat Postby Toby Benoit … More . . .
Losing Stuff — Requiem for a Hat
I was asked to join the pro staff of Heirloom Turkey Calls this year. Brian sent me a bunch of calls to try, and after bagging a good gobbler, I managed to lose one of the calls. It was one of his Single Barrel calls– easily the most beautiful call I’ve ever used — a turned wooden scratch pot with matching stained glass and a picture of a gobbler under the glass. I went back time and again to the spots where it could be, but it was not there. The good news is that the call was fantastic, and … More . . .
So where DO they go after flydown?
The Ben Lee Catechism states that turkeys go to water after flydown. It also echoes the first book I read on turkey hunting. It simply said that you get between the roost and the closest source of water and ambush them– in fact, that was all it said about turkey hunting. I have tested that theory and it just does not seem to pan out– at least as a surefire thing. Once long ago, I was bowhunting on the last day of season in January and heard a flock come down off the roost and go to the creek. The … More . . .
Where Turkeys Go After Flydown?
Yesterday was my first good day out scouting this year. I was able to monitor the flydown of four flocks on either side of a ridge. It was pretty much a typical morning for the turkeys. The gobblers gobbled a bit, the hens yelped a bit, everybody took their turn plopping down into the leaves and they all milled about squaking at each other. . . . and then they were gone. There is nothing quite so unexpected and sudden as the feeling you get when you realize that you are now alone in the woods. It is as though … More . . .
Turkey Hunting is Just Like Work
This post has already been read 1861 times!Views: 2 Related posts: Playing the Wind or J-Lo and Steve find each other? Yute Season 2021 Turkey Hunting is a Lot Like Work How to Work a Gobble Call Run & Gun– Does it Work? Traditional Turkey Hunting Season Shamanic Turkey Hunting Tips I am a Turkey Hunting Troglodyte
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Stupid things in Camo
I got one of those condoms as a Christmas Present. I think I still have the wrapper. Stupid things I have seen camo’ed up that should not have been: 1) Wallets 2) Flashlights 3) Ammo carriers 4) First Aid Kits 5) Walkie Talkies 6) GPS units These are all things that needed to be in bright visible colors. If you drop one of these in the leaves, you are screwed. I once had the misfortune of having to run back to camp– long story. I was in a hurry and I got back only to find that I had left … More . . .
Letter to Santa from a Turkey Hunter
Dear Santa: I’m writing late to you, but I have some ideas for turkey hunters for Christmas. See if you can cook them up: 1) A cheap pair of boots that are lightweight, warm and waterproof. Is it asking too much for a turkey hunter to have dry warm feet? Every pair of boots I get are either too hot, too cold, too heavy or they leak. If they don’t leak the day I get them, they’re leaking by the end of the first week. 2) A mouth call safe that hold onto calls that allows them to dry out … More . . .
The shaman goes over the edge on deer rifles
Originally Posted By: Jeff_Olsen Shaman is my new favorite “writer” on the ‘Fire! 🙂 -jeff “Aw, shucks!” said the shaman. He kicked the dirt, feigning humility. “Thanks for the kind words.” [WARNING: The shaman is going for a dive in the deep water. You may want to put on your hip boots. For the brave, may I suggest a mask and snorkel and follow along.] Now see, you’ve gone and just egged me on. If this keeps up, I might get a swell-head and get drunk and start writing about how black rifles are the devil’s work. Just for … More . . .
More on Deer Rifles
257Bob: (from 24hourcampfire.com) not really, as long as the bullet is decent. a 30-06 will do it all, the rest just makes it interesting. that’s why I dont own a 30-06, like to keep trying different things just to keep it fun. Now there’s a concept I can relate to. In fact, that’s close to what my buddies told me when they guided me to my first 30-06 back in the early 80’s: After a 30-06, you probably won’t need to buy anything else. That’s also why I started moving away from the ’06. Honestly, after 7 years of sampling … More . . .
Deer Rifles — What Really Goes On
Most anything will kill a deer. They are not that hard to kill. There are a few issues at work here. Most of them are stuff that gun writers cannot deal with. They exist in the realm of the shaman. I will therefore don my headdress, grab my turtle rattle and attempt an explanation: Deer hunters have a lot of their self-definition wrapped up in their choice of firearms. It goes a long way to saying who they are. It’s like “are you a Chevy or Ford kind of guy?” but it goes much deeper. Part of that definition is … More . . .
Evolution of a Hunter
For years now, I have been hearing about this Evolution of the Hunter. It just sticks in my craw. I do not think they have it right. According to the theory, hunters go through a series of steps. At first they want shooting opportunities. Next, they start looking to place various self-restrictions on their hunting, by method and by the trophies they seek. Lastly, you have this fully-evolved Sportsman that hunts for just the pure enjoyment of it all. It did not sit well when I heard it the first time. That was when I took my #2 son to … More . . .
The Sport of Not-Hunting for Deer
I would like to discuss with you the sport of not-hunting. I do not mean not hunting, as in staying on the couch and watching football. I mean actively not-hunting. I know– my head is spinning too. However, if I explain a little more you probably will know what I mean. You may already have done it. It first occurred to me a year ago that there might be a separate sport besides hunting involved in what I was doing. Many have experienced the moment of ultimate letdown one gets when the season ends with unused tags still in your … More . . .
If You Encounter a Mountain Lion
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More . . .Why do I hunt?
“. . .So does this make me a Shooter? Am I a Method Man? I probably am. I am probably all these things. I probably am an old-fashioned troglodyte, and that is why I hunt. When I finish out the season with a tag or two still unfilled, call me a Sportsman. When I am up to my elbows in deer gore, you can call me a naked ape with a gun. It is all the same thing, and it is all the same to me. If I go out for the afternoon with my gun or my bow, and fall asleep in the blind and wake up after sundown, does that make me a Sportsman or just another lazy goof?”
More . . .Turkey Hunting is a Lot Like Work
I realized this morning that turkey hunting and work are so similar as to be nearly interchangeable in my life. I get up early, trudge around in the cold, and then try to make myself comfortable while I sit on my rump and listen while those around me make obnoxious noises. Sometimes I make obnoxious noises back at them, but mostly I try to blend into the landscape and not upset anyone. I try to be seen and heard as little as possible. Most days, I knock off as early as I can and get home and do my chores … More . . .
What makes Turkeys Laugh?
I’ve made a study of all this for well over 20 years. The shaman’s list of things that will get the turkey’s laughing at you: 1) Fancy new calls 2) $5/round ammo 3) Fancy new matching camo 4) $140 knee-hi snake boots where there ain’t no snakes, especially if the pattern matches the pants and jacket. 5) 10 GA shotguns 6) 3.5″ shotgun shells 7) Turkey vests. Have you ever tried to get a turkey to wear one of them things? 8) Turkey seats. I tried for years to get a turkey to sit in one, but they laughed so … More . . .
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