Biscuits and Gravy in Browningsville

We were down at Mister Browning’s store in Browningsville. We heard there were good biscuits and gravy available on Saturday mornings. O.D. was there. O.T. and O.P. showed up as well. One thing you have to remember is that it is important to have a fresh set of turkey hunting duds if you plan on going to Browningsville for breakfast in season. I was tagged out, and Supercore did not want to hunt in the pouring rain. He dressed. I stayed in my civvies and wished I hadn’t. Folks looked at me like I was some kind of heathen. They take turkey hunting seriously in these parts. It had been pouring rain, and everyone in the store beside us was in immaculately clean turkey duds with all the latest camo patterns and logo-wear. Nobody had mud on their boots, nobody had wet hair and no one was leaving puddles on the floor, so there was no way anyone could have come from the field. No, this was Sunday biscuits and gravy in Browningsville, KY. It was like high tea, but it was just CostCutter biscuits and canned gravy but the coffee was good and you get free refills. Truth is, the biscuits and gravy are much better in Lennoxburg or at Donna’s in Brooksville, but you don’t drive out on a rainy Saturday morning for food. You go for the show.

As we were settling in, talk got to who’d gotten one and who had tagged out. They asked Supercore. Supercore told them about his gobbler that had taken three shots to subdue. Folks were approving. I mentioned I was tagged out. That got a sniff and a huff. I figured that was because I was not dressed properly for the occasion, only clean Carharts and a freshly dry cleaned barn coat and the only camo on me was my baseball cap.

“O.P.?” asked someone behind me. “How you doin’?”

“I got five.” replied O.P. He had noticed his partner was lighting up and borrowed a cigarette and the lighter and lit one up before putting the lighter in his pocket.

“Five?” asked someone in the back, “O.P., you’re only allowed two tags for the whole season. How did you get five birds?”

“I’m on the new Shoot and Release Program,” said O.P.

“Never heard of it.”

“It’s a new thing. I’m just trying it this year,” replied O.P. “I shoot ’em and if they ain’t up to my high conservational standards, I throw ’em back so they’ll grow up.”

Everyone laughed except for the two youngest hunters. They were taking serious mental notes. These were brothers, but I did not catch a name. There were in to sit at the feet of the master turkey hunters. Both were in barn boots, so you knew they had come after chores, but both had on camo shirts that were at least minimally acceptable for the unwritten dress code.

“So you say you got three?” asked the youngest?

“Actually four,” I replied. “My son got one as well, but he’s not here. ”

“Where you huntin’ at?”

I gave them a general description of where we were.

“We’ve been hunting over on. . .” the youngest started jawing about all the gobblers they’d been into over near Berlin, giving exact locations and such and suddenly everyone’s ears turned, and it was like one of those old E.F. Hutton commercials. The older boy shut the other one up.

“Yeah, but they’s all played out.” said the older brother, staring down the younger. “We’s seen a bobcat.”

“Yeah, that’s right.” said the younger. “We caught him on our game cam.”

“There was one over by us,” I said. “He was living in a hollow by Bachelor’s Rest for a couple of years. I wonder if it is the same one.”

“Could be,” said O.D. “I heard that one out grouse hunting a few years ago. He’s moved on though.” He put his paper plate down for Babette, his poodle to finish. Babette always gets the last bite off O.D.”

“I sure like to mount one.” said the older boy. “Sure would!” He was looking at me when he said it, so I figured he was asking for an approving response.

“No thanks,” I replied. “I’m happily married.” That elicited a chuckle from everyone in earshot.

“That’s a good one!” said his younger brother, blowing YooHoo cola through his nose. “Did you get that Oren? Did you get it?” The older brother just shook his head and took a sip of his Coke.

About this time the Saturday meeting began to break up. Folks got a refill on their coffee and started heading to the front of the store to sit in the collection of metal lawn chairs. SuperCore and I wished everyone good luck and left.

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