Look over on the right column There’s a little spot over there where you can join this weblog as a “Follower.”

No, this does not mean I want you to pledge or tithe to Genesis 9:2-4 Ministries of SW Bracken County, KY. Don’t get me wrong. I’d take a donation right now, but that is not why I’m writing.

No, this does not mean I want you to accept the neck implant, drink the KoolAid, or wear the special head gear.

No, I don’t want you to declare Holy War against PETA and strap bombs to your chest and go walking into Vegetarian restaurants. I do not believe in that level of extremism. Frankly, I think zealots suck.

All this means is that I want you to declare yourself as a public follower:

” Follow publicly to tell the blog’s author and the world that you’re a fan. Stay updated with this blog’s posts on your Blogger Dashboard.” — that’s what Blogger says it means.

I know you’re out there. I know that there a surprising number of you hitting this site every day. I know there are a bunch of you in Cincinnati, a surprisingly large number in Chicago, and that there have been visits this month from folks in Spain, France, Switzerland, and Greece, as well as China, Japan, and Australia.

I think that it is time for y’all to come out of the closet and admit that you are a Cervid Serial Killer, or that you want to be. Come on! Join with me and recite this simple affirmation:

I am a cervid serial killer.

I plot and plan my next victim all Winter long. I stalk them thoughout the Summer. Just seeing them gives me a thrill. Then, when the Fall comes, I go out and shoot them. I disembowel my victims. I take trophies, I feast on their flesh. I take pictures and hang them on my wall, to help remind me of my past episodes.

When I can, I get together with like-minded cervid serial killers, and we boast of our past episodes and plot and plan future forays. I frequent websites and chatrooms that service my needs to share my experiences. I even buy magazines that glorify my lifestyle. I do all this to satisfy some ineffable feeling that keeps driving me on incessantly. I am indoctrinating my children into this lifestyle and encouraging my friends and family to join me in consuming the flesh of my victims.

See? Don’t you feel better now? Come on. Join up! Be a follower and let me know y’all are out there. After you become a follower, you might feel a bit more willing to post a comment, or become a contributor. It’s going to be a long time to the start of deer season, 2009. Y’all might as well get to know each other.

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