Camoflauge

Last night #3 son, Angus, was asking me about camo. He’d seen some Youtubes with this guy touting the ultimate new super-duper stuff. He wanted to buy a set.

I explained to him that I’d been where he is starting off about 30 years ago. I had not only 1st gen TreBark and MossyOak, but every camo you could imagine and I was like that for years. I used to even hang my camo out on the back fence and video them against the woods to see which showed up.

The winners? For my eye, for the woods where I was hunting back then, this stuff was the best:

I made the mistake once of putting it over my gear while I went back to the truck and, I couldn’t find my gear when I got back. I finally tripped over it. Back in the days I was bow hunting, I nailed all my bucks wearing this. What is it? I have no idea. I bought a remnant at the fabric store and made a poncho out of it.

I was pretty obsessed with camo until I got the clown suit. I bet an Atsko rep that I could get as many deer with this orange clown suit with a neon sign that read “Danger! Hunter” as he could bathing himself in UV-Killer. Here’s the clown suit. You tell me: if I can wear this getup and kill deer, is there any point to arguing over 3D vs 4D camo?

Wearing the clown suit for the past decade has been very freeing. Once I got over the fear of being seen by deer, it was downhill from there. I pushed it farther. I tried going out in Carharts. That worked too.

I’m not saying camouflage is useless; I’m just saying a little goes a long, long way.

This doesn’t apply to turkeys. I’m probably overdue for a post on camo and turkeys. I’ll make a note to myself for the winter. That clown suit? It pisses turkeys off like you won’t believe.

The other reason Angus was asking me about camo duds was in regards to the current social unrest. What if he has to bug out. What if . . .

People’s eyes are fairly easy to fool. When I used to paintball back in my youth, one of our best players used nothing but an olive drab field jacket. He could sit against a tree and you might trip over him before you saw him. The trick was motion. Big Bob was incredible at staying still. That’s really where it is at. Camo patterns will not cover up being jumping bean on the stand. It will not save a thunderfoot from crashing through the forest. It will not keep your rifle from bumping the metal shooting rail.

Digital patterns? Look deer do not have military-grade optics to fool. Neither do most of the thugs you’re going to meet up with in SHTF scenarios. Skip the digital, unless you get a cheap deal.

What does work? US GI Woodland works. British DPM works. German Flecktar works. These three work just fine on deer. DPM is my overall choice for spring turkey hunting. Flecktar is my hands-down favorite for deer. This doesn’t mean you should go out and stock up on any of these. I’m just saying that they often come cheap and they work. Remember my clown suit.

My overall advice to Angus and to the rest of you: don’t fool yourself that you absolutely NEED new camo. Think about the clothes and reasons for using them and don’t be concerned about the pattern. I buy cheap when I can, and I don’t’ sweat the small stuff.

What should Angus stay away from? About 20 years ago a guy got on AllOutdoors.com. This isn’t the website that’s out there now. This was the one run by Coleman that disappeared before 2000. This guy said he’d been invited to go squirrel hunting for the first time, and he didn’t want to look like a schlepp and wanted to know what the best camo pattern was for early-season squirrel in hardwoods. The others were merciless to him. They had him convinced that he needed a $300 set of matching camo and that it should be some obscure, expensive brand and they had him buying all these bizarre accessories. I wanted to tell the guy it was a send-up, but I was too busy laughing. Point is: don’t be that guy.

There are YouTubes out there that will convince you that this brand is better than that, that camo is the “winning edge,” that camo is what separates the doofuses from the pros . . . It’s all deer pellets!

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