The shaman was busy at his reloading bench when he heard little Scooter come into his cave.

“Mister Shaman?”

“In here, Scooter.” said the shaman.

“Jeepers, Mister Shaman.” said the boy. “What are you up to?”

“I’ve been reading too many deer threads,” said the shaman, and I thought I would come here to chill out and get some reloading done.

“It’s all so complicated.” said Scooter. “I wouldn’t know where to start. All these bullets. All this data. It makes my head spin.”

“It doesn’t make my head spin.” said the shaman. “It was going to, and then I caught myself. ”

“What’s your secret?” said Scooter.

“I’m cooking up some plain old fashioned deer loads for my 30-06.” said the shaman.

“Are you using Accu-whatsits or the XT. . . XT. . .”

“TSX?” asked shaman.

“Yeah, I hear they’re great.”

“Well it all depends.” said the shaman. “You have to say great for what?”

“Great for deer.”

“How’s that?”

“You want the best bullet for deer hunting when you hunt deer?”

“Do I?”

“You don’t?”

“It’s all what you’re optimizing for. Are you trying to shoot at 20 yards or 200? Do you want a big blood trail, a fall-over-and-die crater, the biggest baddest bullet, or eat-up-to-the-hole meat efficiency?”

“I want a dead deer.”

“Well . . . so do I. But you have to ask yourself what flavor of dead deer you want. Some look at it as ‘Dead as Dead Can Be Dead’ , Some want ‘the Deadest Dead Money can Buy Dead.’ There’s ‘Headshot Dead’ ‘Neckshot Dead’ ‘Shoulder Dead’ and ‘I just hits what I aim at Dead’ Some want ‘The Kind of Dead your online buddies will appreciate’ sort of Dead”. Some guys want ‘Old-Time Dead;’ some want ‘New and Improved Dead.’ Some guys want ‘Pure Lead Dead,’ Some will only settle for ‘Solid Copper Dead,’ ‘Space-Age Poly-Carbonate Dead,’ or ‘Ceramic insert dead.’ —

“But isn’t dead dead?”

“No.” said the shaman. “And that was what hit me. I had to sit back and think about what kind of dead I wanted the next time I hit a deer. I’ve come to a conclusion.”

“What’s that? Partitioned Dead? LeverEvolution Dead?”

“Nope. ‘Plausible Deniability Dead.'”

“What’s that?”

“I want the best cartridge that no matter what, no one will be saying ‘Poor shaman, that deer might be venison in his freezer if only. . . ‘ what’s more, I want them to always blame it on the bullet if anything goes wrong. I want to be able, no matter what to say. ‘Gee, it must have been the bullet.'” That’s why I got these special bullets.” The shaman handed him a little red box.

“But these are just plain Hornady bullets!”

“Exactly.” said the shaman. “I was thinking I might have some Corelokts around, but this was the best I could come up with.”

“But these aren’t all that special.”

“Oh yes they are.” said the shaman. “If I fire one of these into a deer — no matter what, I’m in the clear. It’s just good enough for folks not to poke fun at me for using a cheap bullet. If I bring down the deer, they’ll say I’m a good shot and leave it at that. If I lose the deer, or the bullet does something funky, all my online friends will pile on and tell me how their bullet and their kind of dead is so much better. Meanwhile, I’ll be able to wiggle out and go back to hunting and no one will ever suspect me or the rifle. I can come back a few days later and thank everyone for their advice and tell them that as soon as I have the money again to afford the exhaustive load development, I’ll be sure to invest in their bullets. Chances are, I’m never going to have the money to go spending fifty cents apiece for bullets. But that’s beside the point. That’s why ‘Plausible Denialbility Dead’ is so much better than all the others.”

“Mister Shaman,” said Scooter. “I think you’ve been hanging with the Chinaman too much. You’re getting Inscrutiating.”

“You mean inscrutable.” said shaman. “Oh, I’m sure Chin will say something like: ‘Whatever makes you happy.’ When I tell him.”

“He says that to me too,” said Scooter. “What does that mean?”

“It means I could use some help here. Wanna pull the handle for me?”

“Sure!” said Scooter, and the shaman moved the stool over so he could sit up high and pull the handle of the press.

“Wait until my hand’s out of the way.” he said.

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