l so . . . stupid writing this, but then I write a lot of stupid things on here. Nobody ever seems to mind—except the ones that take me seriously, and those folks are the ones I particularly enjoy.

I’m not usually one to worry about a lottery. I know the odds are against me. This is different. Maybe it’s that the odd of winning doubled this year. Maybe it’s because I’m starting to feel middle-aged, and I’m starting to hear the clock ticking. Maybe I have nothing better to contemplate right now. The Kentucky Elk Lottery Drawing is July 31, and I’m about to wet myself.

It did not help any that Kentucky Afield devoted its entire show last week to elk hunting. Something snapped inside of me, and now I’m like a little kid on Christmas Eve, looking up the chimney. Two Hundred chances to win. It could be me this year. I had forgotten to enter this year until about a week ago, and now I can’t stand it.

You have to admit, that it is quite an opportunity: free-ranging elk within a 4-hour drive from Cincinnati. That’s just where the bulk of the herd is. I’ve had elk on the farm, an hour from Cincinnati.

The Stuff of Dreams

More Stuff of Dreams

The state will do a lot to help you find an elk—nobody has to walk away with an unfilled tag. Guides are plentiful.

I’ve already made a fearless inventory of my firearms. I have picked my candidates:

1) A Winchester Model 70 in 30-06 with a 4-12x scope.
2) A Savage 99 in 308 with a 3-9x scope
3) A Remington 7600 in 35 Whelen with a 3-9x scope.

I gave up quickly on the idea of bow or muzzleloader—I would not want to risk failure on that count. Any of these three rifles could be stretched to 250 yards without a problem, as long as I started practicing right away. They’ve all taken deer. Even though I’m a middle-aged pencil pusher, I just got back from hiking in the southern end of the elk restoration zone, so I know my health and stamina are up for it. That’s one of the nice things about Kentucky – elevation is not a problem. I flew into Denver a couple of years ago and was sucking air like a carp—I know my limits.

I have only a little more than a week to keep the fantasy alive. Somebody please argue with me over Interbonds versus Nosler Partitions. Somebody tell me that I need to re-scope all my rifles with Leupolds. . . (er, sorry Rick – sore subject). Tell me what rangefinder to buy. . . anything! Just don’t let me think about the fact that it’s a 1-in-a-gazillion chance.

PS: Even if I don’t win, my lottery ticket reverts to an out-of-zone permit. That means that after I’m done bagging my buck this fall, I can grab my elk rifle and play at calling in the big one at the farm. I did hear a cow towards the end of the 2004 rifle season, but nothing came of it.

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