I am a cervid serial killer.
I plot and plan my next victim all Winter long. I stalk them thoughout the Summer. Just seeing them gives me a thrill. Then, when the Fall comes, I go out and shoot them. I disembowel my victims. I take trophies, I feast on their flesh. I take pictures and hang them on my wall, to help remind me of my past episodes.
When I can, I get together with like-minded cervid serial killers, and we boast of our past episodes and plot and plan future forays. I frequent websites and chatrooms that service my needs to share my experiences. I even buy magazines that glorify my lifestyle. I do all this to satisfy some ineffable feeling that keeps driving me on incessantly. I am indoctrinating my children into this lifestyle and encouraging my friends and family to join me in consuming the flesh of my victims.
What Is This All About?
I am just a guy who loves hunting– mostly deer and turkey. When my kids were small, the family was able to acquire 200 acres of farmland in Bracken County, Kentucky. We’re about 10 miles from the Ohio River and about 2 miles from the Licking River. KYHillChick and I decided that we were not into raising our kids in the ‘burbs. She was not cut out to be a soccer mom, and I was. . . well, I was not keen on tennis or golf.
Most of this site is about my 30 years as a hunter and shooter and reloader. A good part of it is about raising a family in an atmosphere where Deer Camp and Turkey Camp have become a year-round lifestyle choice. It is also about being outdoors and living the dream.
But what’s all this shaman thing about?
You can ask my friends that are practicing shamans and have their shingles hung out: I’m not your every day kind of shaman. What I do is a little bit of stand-up comedy, a little bit of performance art, a little bit of magic. The whole point is that I get asked to crank up the energy a little, make things happen, and shed a little light on the darkness, and folks think I am good at it.
Being a shaman is not something I set out to do. It was something that got handed to me. By the way, I’m not “Shaman” as a proper name. I’m a shaman, like other people are a plumber, or a roofer. I am also not trying to make money off of it.
What’s this whole Genesis 9:2-4 Ministries thing? Are you a Minister?
This goes back to 2004. Mom always kept reminding me that I came from a long line of Methodist ministers. I think of myself as a good Methodist boy at heart. However, I never got my calling. I did not fret about it all that much. I figured the Good Lord knew my number. If He wanted me, I was there. For my part, I always made sure I was getting dial tone. Know what I mean? Well, I got into my mid-forties and one day I got to thinking about it and one day at lunch I was musing to myself: How did Jesus Christ know he had his calling? I mean, there’s a guy who suddenly one day in his Thirties decided he was going to start a ministry. How did he know? The more I thought about it, the more it became clear that asking the question itself constituted the beginning of a ministry. So I went back to work, and looked for some other sign of where I should go with this. There on my desktop was the instructions on how to start a weblog, and an unfinished piece I was writing for the 24hourcampfire.com on Genesis 9, specifically verses 2-4.
Other guys get their calling and have really cool verses to guide them– like John 3:16. Me? I got stuck with Genesis 9:2-4. I guess this is kind of sounding like one of those 9-inch man stories you hear, but the point is I a’m going to stick with it until I get the calling to do something else.
If you want to show up at Genesis 9:2-4 Ministries of SW Bracken County on a Sunday, don’t be surprised if most of the congregation is out hunting. Go out back to the Thoughtful Spot and hang out for a while. We’ll be back in. You’ll be invited to a meal. We do all our best work with food in front of us. We conduct our service a lot like the Quaker Meeting: Silent prayer, but if anyone is moved to speak, they are given the floor.
That’s kind of how I want to run this site: I’ll start the conversation. Y’all are free to join in whenever you want. I come up with ideas. I don’t mean they are always good one.